Look before you cross the street. Thanks, Mom.
Recently, I almost died. That is, I would have been killed by a car as I walked to work. I’m alive because I listened to my mother.
This event happened but a few weeks ago, yet it has taken until now to put finger to keyboard.
It was an early Spring morning. Having exercised, eaten, and dressed, I exited our apartment, descended the stairs, and walked out the shared front door of the Kaiser Hall Condominium Association to head for the bus.
Recently I had taken a part-time job as a cashier for the Willy Street Co-op. So, instead of turning left and waiting for the Number 4 or 7 bus at Williamson and Dickinson, I turned right. I would stop by and check my till sheet from the previous Saturday, my “report card”, if you will, so I could see if my drawer count matched that of the depositor. Then, I’d round the building and catch a bus on Jenifer Street.
I stopped outside the Crystal Corner Bar at Willy and Baldwin, and waited. Morning rush hour was in progress, it being around 7:30 am. Traffic was modulated on Willy according to demand; in the morning, both westbound lanes were open, while in the afternoon both eastbound lanes were free. Infrequent visitors to Willy Street helped support Madison city government with the requisite towing and fines. The tow trucks had been efficient this morning; both lanes were open, with traffic flowing freely.
The light changed, and I was given the “Walk” signal. I started walking across, and being in a somewhat good mood, was fooling around, and walking across in a big-step, exaggerated fashion.
“This is the way we cross the street”, I remember goofily and robotically saying to myself. “We cross the street…then turn…and wait for the light to go.”
“We cross the street…”, I had crossed the street.
“…Then turn…”, and I turned.
“…And wait for the light to go.”, and I stopped, stomping my left foot down, hands behind my back.
A car shot past my face, maybe 6 inches away, going at least 40 miles per hour.
I was frozen in place. Had I taken one more step, I would now be dead.
The light turned, and “Walk“ beckoned.
I inhaled, and slowly exhaled as I crossed towards the Co-op.
I don’t remember checking my till sheet, nor boarding the bus, nor getting to my office. Indeed, I remember little from that day, except for those 5 seconds of crossing the street, turning, and stopping.
What if I had not stopped? My mind swirled in that moment thereafter:
What happens when we die?
What does the act of death feel like?
What do we sense?
Am I Spirit, too, or simply Flesh?
Each of us will learn those answers, in time.
Meanwhile, I still exist, and so after swallowing this brutal mortality pill, my thoughts turned to…WHY am I still alive?
If you were lucky like me, you had a mother who advised you to “look both ways before you cross the street”, along with other bits of counsel. Do we follow all of the advice our mothers give us? No, of course not, but this is an archetypal lesson, that everyone knows so well we joke about it.
The universe is complex. Indeed, it is so complex that it will make each of us a hypocrite at least once in life. Likewise, navigating life defies comprehension.
Thus, paths laid down for us are a gift; any help is appreciated. But paths are not just from one location to another. A path can also be a process.
Paths can be age-based. They can be the process of being a child, or an adult, or an elder. Paths can be role-based. They can be the process of being a friend, or a spouse, a manager, or an employee.
If the path found is successful it is passed down. If it adds sufficient value, it can be passed down amongst enough of us, and become a model, or story to be told. If a path reaches that level, there might be something to it.
Perhaps more mundanely but no less important, processes can be those related to our daily tasks, like how to ride a bike, or how to hold a knife…or how to cross the street.
Life is a Path.
So, from the foundational to the mundane, from the complex to the simple, listen or give attention to those paths previously laid out. Evaluate them.
How do you evaluate a path’s efficacy? Ask: does it help you achieve a specific goal? Age-wise, does your chosen path lead to you to being a successful child, adult, or elder? Role-wise, does this path make one a successful businessperson? A successful spouse and parent?
Take care to not choose the wrong path. Humans can be like a needle on a vinyl record of old; sometimes the needle cuts too deep on a song, gets stuck, and replays the same song, over and over again. In human terms, think of the job you hate that you just don’t leave, or the same bad friends you keep who lower you down instead or raising you up, or the drug addiction you’ve developed because of the problems you aren’t facing. We develop bad habits.
It is possible that the number of successful paths are proportional to the complexity, or foundational nature, of the question at hand. It may also be that the inverse is true, that some things, despite their complexity or foundational status, have unique dimensions that countenance few variations for success in that realm. It may also be that the old paths lead no where, and that a new path is needed.
Who determines success? You do. What is your standard? Follow what is good. But who defines good? There are paths left here for us to follow as well. For those complex paths in life, perhaps the simplest rule-of-thumb is what secularists call reciprocal altruism, or what the religious call “The Golden Rule”. Let that be your first standard.
We now return to the question: WHY am I alive?
I am alive because I listened to voices from the past. I am alive because a path to deal with such an event was laid out for me to follow, and a good path at that. I am alive because I listened to my mother.
There is, after all, only one way to successfully cross the street.